Archive for the ‘Facebook’ Category

When I was a kid, I hated P.E. I’d do anything to avoid it – hide, duck, dodge…take cover in the outfield…behind a tree if at all possible.


Not much has changed. I’m forty-three and I’ve dropped the ball. It’s been eleven days since I last posted something to my blog and even that post was only a simple snap of my husband’s conveniently timed typo’d text.


I’ve been neglectful of reading blogs, answering messages, posting to my facebook page and I haven’t checked my Hazy email in months. I opened it the other day, saw that there are over five thousand tidy little envelopes in my inbox to sift through and quickly closed it again.


I’d like to say that it’s because I’ve been buried in writing, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been doing much of anything. Trapped in a roundabout, I keep missing my exit, running the vicious circle without escape.


I get overwhelmed by having so many projects that I don’t know where to begin and end up not starting, working on or completing any of them. My kitchen cupboards need a good gutting of all the cumulative bits and bobs that somebody, not me of course, keeps sneaking in, I have a desk to paint, I need to dismantle my son’s massive loft bed so he can stop sleeping with his nose half an inch from the ceiling, I have an office that has morphed into one over-sized junk drawer and don’t even get me started on the garage. No really, I don’t want to start on the garage.


And I can’t type of course, while all of these undone tasks have my fingers tied together with their loose ends, but for the one thing I have no choice in, (thank goodness for deadlines!) my upcoming interview on WOW. My runner-up short story, Magic, and my ridiculous bio, can be found HERE. The interview itself, should be published sometime in April or early May.


If it weren’t for my blog and contest excitement, I’m not so sure I’d be writing at all, so today I give thanks for the side of me that apparently wants people to know my name and to the entities that grant me a voice, ensuring I’m heard above my own silence.


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I am borrowing a page from the Book of Saige. Eating the bread, drinking the wine; entering the daunting Confessional. Bless me Father, it’s been never since my last confession. Is it a sin to confess when you’re not Catholic? I know you’re probably not supposed to drink the wine…

1. I shared something on my personal facebook page a few days ago. It went like this:

Marilyn Monroe....the worlds biggest icon! Her tummy isn't tightly toned, her thighs touch, her arms aren't skinny, she has stretch marks and her boobs aren't perky. She is known as one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL women in history. Be confident girls. You are HOT, you are SEXY, you are a Marilyn so do not let any man, media or moment of judgement ever take away your confidence! ♥ EL

Marilyn Monroe….the worlds biggest icon! Her tummy isn’t tightly toned, her thighs touch, her arms aren’t skinny, she has stretch marks and her boobs aren’t perky. She is known as one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL women in history. Be confident girls. You are HOT, you are SEXY, you are a Marilyn so do not let any man, media or moment of judgement ever take away your confidence! ♥ EL

Now, while I do believe the gist of this to be true, with an upcoming Maui trip as my motivator, I immediately proceeded to google ‘diets’, found one and voila, apart from the bread and wine I consumed above, I am hungry. No harm in dropping ten pounds, right? Except when you pass out on the morning of day three.

2. I write for myself, but I won’t lie. After a year, I have finally started to accumulate more than five sympathy ‘likes’ from supportive friends and my mum on some of my posts…sometimes as much as thirty-four. Yay, me!

Anyway, a person starts to depend on get used to this sort of thing and when one of my pieces only drummed up a mere four this week, it stung. Ah…don’t go running to like it, now. I get it. It blew. It’s okay. Big girl pants glued in place.

3. I want to be published. Don’t we all? However, I’m nothing but talk. I haven’t taken any steps toward making this happen since 2010. I’m ecstatic my blog has me writing regularly, but I’ve also let it distract me from my ultimate goal. Don’t get me wrong. I’m extremely happy here in the blogosphere, but I’ve let it satiate me. Apparently, I want to eat my cake and not have to bake it first.

4. I used to give my house a thorough cleaning every other day and quick wipes and swipes in between. I now give it a wipe n’ swipe every few weeks and a thorough cleaning once a, ehm, year…? Something’s wrong with this picture. If I were working steadily and regularly toward my ultimate goal, this would be understandable, but like I said…

5. We have an extra fridge in our garage and it smells like something died in there. Since it only houses sealed beverages, I’m afraid this might actually be true. I have yet to investigate since my abovementioned yearly cleaning isn’t due for at least another six months.

6. The posts I spend days hours on get less likes that the ones I whip out in hours minutes. I am not sure what this says about my writing or me. If you do, please give me hint.

7. I scraped a smattering of mold off the top of the sour cream last week and let everyone have it. Expiration dates are only suggestions, aren’t they?

8. I am a fully trained and licensed Aesthetician and have, what is probably the worst skincare routine ever. It works for me. Don’t tell anyone.

9. I douse most things in hot sauce or failing that, chili peppers. I may be known to keep one of these items in my purse at any given time, but I never, ever bring my own tea bags. Promise.

10.Smallmight be slightly autobiographical.  Just sayin’.

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It’s my birthday!  I don’t often use exclamation marks, but in this case I’m attempting to make myself feel better about being another year older.  It’s already lost its audacity though, as my birthday was yesterday.  It turns out yesterday was an optimum day for birthdays, not new posts.

I’m from the North of Ireland, Belfast born.  I’m proud of my heritage and cherish my visits back to the abundance of family and friends I am lucky enough to have left over there.

Searching for a little inspiration to adorn my facebook page on the morn’ of my birth day, I came across a quote by a fellow Irishman, Brendan Behan.  It goes like this:

I’m a drinker with a writing problem.” ~ Brendan Behan

Now, I have no way of really knowing why, but I promptly lost two followers; almost as fast I uploaded, they checked out.

Brendan and I are trying not to take it personally, but we have to be honest, it stung just a little, especially for me, it being my special day n’ all.

I could jump to many conclusions about why they deserted me, but we all know what assuming does.  It’s not flattering.  I’m just going to accept their departure gracefully and adopt the attitude that perhaps I have done you all a disservice in not making clear (which, by the way, is the opposite of hazy) what you can expect from me.  I accept responsibility.  I am eager to rectify:

1. I do not praise alcoholism, but I will promote someone who was able to achieve substantial success and become “one of the most important Irish literary figures of the 20th century” in his forty-one short years here on earth.

2. I don’t pick and choose.  Holding back is not my forte.

3. I fib.  I pick, I choose, I do hold back.  I don’t depict autobiographical events without blending them into almost unrecognizable abstract.

4. I’m British, I write and I drink.  Unlike Mr. Behan, I don’t see any of these as a problem, but for your reading pleasure, I try not to mix the three.

5. I secretly like being another year older.  I just needed an excuse to use an exclamation mark.

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Twenty…and a pregnant pause leading up to it. This may have seemed strategic on my part, but I really didn’t mean for there to be almost a week in between this and my last post. In fact, the delay pained me.

I could blame a cocktail fusion of bountiful duties, stresses and strains but those alone wouldn’t stand in my way. No…there was something else. Poison. Seeping in through breaks and pores and I, too hectic to see it.

Thoughts of redundancy crept in and took hold; feelings that what I had to say was useless, unnecessary, and, worst of all, uninteresting. After all, we can scoop out as much of the ‘useless unnecessary’ we want, but hand out uninteresting and the world stops. It stops, and so do the readers. Poison reigns.

As a result, this past week has been me, talking myself out of writing, telling myself no one will notice, no one will care…convincing myself it won’t matter. So, why slog on? Oh, woa-ez me.

My bouts with potentially potent poison have had me down in the fathomless folds of forlorn. Past visits to this dank, dark space have had me believing only I can get myself up and out and let’s face it, sometimes, the easy button just isn’t around; buried deep in the couch pillows or…under a slab of super thick cement.

This time has been different. It took me a while to clue in – I’m not alone. I have my interests, my thoughts, my words and a spot to call my own. I have expectant readers checking in, searching for fresh utterances. I have followers taking the time to comment, like and message and I have fellow bloggers gracing me with reblogs and mentions; all bestowing me with virtual high fives.

I love to write, but it can be an isolated endeavor. You are the antidote to the toxins that can sometimes course through my veins. I am truly grateful for your stake in my blog. I’m humbled by your interest in what I have to say. I am blessed that you inspire me to do what I hold dear.

You are why. I can’t thank you enough.

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Like for a TBH…

The likes, the pokes, the requests, the comments, the followers and our (with any luck and a few brief encounters) overflowing ‘friends’ lists are virtual validation. Whether we admit it or not, to us they’re confirmation that we’re awesome human beings.

They’re our second chance; an opportunity to snatch some of the attention we missed in school, an enabler to hang onto the worldly, well-liked whippersnappers we used to be or a window for reinvention, in case our first draft wasn’t working out.

facebook exists under the guise of passive hobby, but in reality, there’s not much passive about it. Dynamic statuses are written, lively comments are made and shameless self-promotions are flogged. (one day I’ll share my page with you) And it’s all very much the opposite of passive. In fact, one could venture to say that facebook, or should I say, its users, can be downright aggressive.

For a platform that is supposed to be airy-fairy, it can carry the weight of a cinder block. Users preach from their soapboxes, post links and videos to support their stances, tag undesirable photos, type words that would never otherwise be spoken and, since we’re being honest, let’s be honest…being limited, blocked or deleted stings for more than a second. So why should we have it?

Top Ten facebook Flogs

1. Connectivity: It’s invaluable to have familiarity with family and friends you wouldn’t normally see and having it through facebook is different than an email or a phone call. It allows us off-hand inspection of pages. It’s informal and approachable.

2. New Connectivity: “Friending” someone new is fun. Especially when they’re someone we will probably never see in real life ever again. (?)

3. Visualization: Photos, words and personalities come alive. I went to my _ _ high school reunion a while back and I likened it to the figures in a wax museum walking and talking. Creepy…

4. Socialization: facebook allows for casual contact. Little or no commitment, while remaining in the loop can be a huge draw. Yes, sometimes we can be sloths.

5. Events: Users can create or be invited to an event, check out the details, scan the guest list, see who’s replied and whether they are not, maybe or definitely attending, all with a few clicks.

6. Optimization: It enables users to reach a large amount of people all at once, personally, professionally or promotionally. It’s also a podium that can intermingle and showcase all three appropriately. (there are exceptions)

7. Puppy for Sale: People have a need to belong and on facebook, most everyone does. No matter dispositions, idiosyncrasies, or quirks, there’s a place for all to call home. Groupers, gamers and go-getters alike will find their niche amongst the 850 million registered peeps.

8. Information Facilitation: A nice way of calling out the nosy parkers; facebook is a haven for users looking to catch up on the latest (and greatest) happenings in the worlds and minds of others. And of course, it’s there for the taking.

9. As Easy as: anything that’s not hard. It really couldn’t be much simpler to navigate. And, that’s me talking, which means it’s easier than easy.

10. Why not?  Overall, it’s just pretty darn amusing.

And, if you managed to stick with me this far, here’s a bonus flog:

11. Control: It’s so very satisfying to delete, ignore or squash a cruddy comment, like the bug that it is.  Just sayin’. 

*This article is published on Ezine

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