Posts Tagged ‘Expectations’

I rubbed and polished it with my cloth fresh and new, unsuspecting and ever willing, still stiff and crisp. The more I scoured, the brighter it shone.

I took it everywhere. I kept it in my pocket, under my hat or tucked into the toe of my right shoe. At night, it rested underneath my downy pillow, just below my dreaming mind. In the shower, hot soapy water spilled over it, suds trailing the day’s slough down the drain and deep into the pipes.

For a while, well, years really, I barely noticed it apart from the effort it took to make it glisten. But as time went on, my polishing cloth grew black and flecked with holes, limp and lifeless, and what was once light became cumbersome, too big to keep in my shoe or under my hat.

More years passed and despite great efforts, my ratty cloth, now a rag, didn’t bring even a hint of shine, its once brilliant gleam forever lost under many layers of shadows and clouds.

The days, months…years slipped by and it lived on, more than lived, it thrived, growing bulky, bigger, heavier and harder than ever before. Once coveted and craved, now clunky and colossal.

Towing it behind, I trudged through the murk and came to a stop. This was the place…the point where I couldn’t carry it anymore, my body refusing to take one more step.

After years, a lifetime, I, at long last, let it go. Heaved away, it spiraled outwards in a frenzy of rejection and I watched, waiting for it to descend to the dismal, dreary bottom. Drained, exhausted, it took me some time to realize that it was not sinking; it was instead me, rising to the top.

Weight Lifter

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Expectations. The dictionary lists anticipation, hope and trust as synonyms. It depicts its meaning as; something to look forward to. It’s a positive word that packs a punch. But the pressures of expectations can be smothering. Their wallop can knock you out of the game.

We can’t help having them. We expect to wake up (most) mornings. We expect to see the sun if in Hawaii and a lot of us sadly, can expect to gain weight if we eat, ooh, let’s say…colossal amounts of chocolate or umm, cream buns. Damn it.

But, who decided they’re great? The expectations, I mean. (Cream bun greatness is a given) Is it a good thing to have them…these assumptions of life and the connections we make in it?

I suppose the palpable ones cause no harm. Death and taxes for example, not that they’re at all harmless; both can be quite fatal! Although, if you’re reading this, you’ve been lucky enough to experience only one of them. Alas, assuming death and taxes will play a role in our lives doesn’t change their impact or the way we live.

So when it comes to the people in our lives, should we expect things of them? Is it possible not to? We all go into a relationship casual, professional or personal, believing we’re journeying down a mutual path of give and take. Is it wrong to believe…to assume that? Because you will do something for someone, should you expect the same in return?

I’d like to think we can all “hope, trust and look forward to” the basics – human kindness, respect and a few tricks on the trapeze. Okay, I guess we don’t have the right to expect awe-inspiring circus skills. (Just checking to see if you’re still with me) But, expecting, assuming, trusting and believing that folks will do for us, what we would do for them can definitely be a ball-buster.

Everyone brings something different to the table, and that is what makes for a savory broth.

I don’t know about you, but my soup is never carrot exclusive. 

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