Sometimes I can’t help but feel I’ve missed the boat. Or maybe a better analogy would be that I got a ride when I really should’ve hopped on the bus…years ago.
I’m forty-three now, (yes, my birthday sadly fell amongst last week’s horrors) my oldest boy is seventeen, my middle dude, a big one-four and the titch at the end is somehow soon to be twenty-two thirteen.
I’ve been through the baby years, times three, and some teen years and let’s just say if I wrote about them on a public forum I might wake up with my fingers Crazy Glued together. And that would only be a warning.
I read these mommy blogs and, I love them. I relish them. I devour them. In fact, I unfold in them and, honestly,…I’m jealous of them. These women have so much material! And, their kids are far too short to reach the Crazy Glue.
As for me, well, I’ve done my moving countries, my getting married, my precarious pregnancies, my preemies, my “gee, that birth nearly killed me”, my “damn, I swear this demon baby has not slept in eight months”, my “whoa, this postpartum depression is killing me”, my money meltdowns, my midlife misadventures, my doggy demises and my “good god, I’m woefully not wonderful at anything whines.”
I mean, all those things have passed. What’s left to write about?
On second thought, I’ve toiled so long over my laptop that this *blister has formed on the outside of my arm and having revisited all of the aforementioned ominous and opiate-encouraging topics just to write this post, maybe, subconsciously, I’m hoping there really isn’t anything left…
*Note: this (extremely painful) blister was actually caused by a rogue, lava hot spattering of the stew I made for dinner last night, but as a writer, I reserve the right to change and over-dramatize the facts to benefit the tales I tell. The good news is, this must mean my subconscious’ search for writing material will be extensive and eternal.
Hazy Shades of Me 
Wow Hazy, and to think I walked that road with you! You are a well seasoned mommy, wife and daughter. Thank God all that was spread out over 43 years ;). Well written!!!
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Thanks, Murph. I’m sure there’s much more to come. Heh, heh.
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Wait until you’re my age (61) when your kids have grown into remarkable young men, and they move scads of miles away from home. You realize as you talk to them on the phone and catch up on their lives that their younger years went by so fast. I want to reach back, grab those years, and be a better mom, give even more hugs, tend to even more boo-boos, and heat up countless more cans of what the kids affectionately referred to as “crappadoodle” (a/k/a Chef Boy R Dee in a can). I miss my eldest son calling ketchup “doo dins” and my youngest asking for “yay yay” when he wanted some american cheese slices. I’d reach back and grab them and hold on tight — as I do now when I see them — and kiss them to pieces — until they once again bugged me enough to give them the boot back into their present, adult lives. I miss them.
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I feel a lot of that now, Suzie, so I can only imagine it gets more intense once they’ve left the house. I don’t know where the last 17 years have gone and I long to go back and have a ‘do-over’. I just wish I’d been writing it all down in real time. This blog is not only a creative outlet. To have all those feelings, experiences and memories suspended in words would be such a gift. Thanks for commenting!
P.S. I’m sure your boys think they couldn’t possibly have had a better mama…
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You’ll have lots of material for that subconscious writer with three teens in the house! And if they’re like my two, they will continue to provide plenty of material even when they (think they) are adults. Great post, and I look forward to reading more of your writing!
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Yes, but as I say, how much of it will I be ‘allowed’ to depict for all to read?! Maybe I need to start an anonymous blog…ha ha.
Thanks very much for reading and leaving a comment. :0)
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I’m with Susan – but hang on and wait until the grandkids come along. They will entertain you like crazy and generate a ton of stuff to write about. Then of course there is the whole adventure of watching your own kids navigate the waters of relationship and parenthood and work. Oh, and did I mention all the things that come along to write about when you are no longer focused on kids every minute of every day. Great post, Hazy and don’t worry – the train is still in the station – you haven’t missed it at all.
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Yeah, I guess you could say I have my whole life ahead of me! As for writing about my (adult!) children and their kids, please see my comment to Change It Up. LOL!
Thanks for the comment, Francis.
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Well, you know my thoughts on pseudonyms. That’s why I write my fiction under a pen name! lol
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