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Archive for the ‘Short Stories’ Category

Although laundry as whole has not been a favorite pastime of mine, it has its rewards. Sure, I dread the collecting and sorting, but I don’t mind the washing and the folding quite as much. I despise the putting away, but love the fresh scent that I get to place in the drawers as a result of a task I saw through to completion.

However, I do find that things never quite look the same once they’ve been hung out to dry. That white shirt is never just as crisp and that black sweater always ends up a shade lighter than it once was.

It’s somewhat the same for me, when it comes to writing. I adore the process, but there are things about it that leave me feeling faded and worn.

That story that creeps in and convinces me it’s good, those lines, those words that shout, “I’m the one!” The subject that feels interesting and unique, the characters that promise to slay souls and sink ships.

They are silenced when suspended on the line to be judged. They become meek and mild when unpegged and pulled in. They stop clamoring for first and many times, let themselves fall down into the dirt below.

Luckily though, passion is persuasive and begs to be picked up, shaken out and washed again, as a clean slate offers endless possibilities.

You can read my (yet again) RUNNER UP short story HERE.

Fall 2013 Wow Contest Photo

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If you’d like to read Helena first, click here.

– – –

Ms. Harris perches at a small table, rolling melting ice cubes around in her short glass, vacantly staring in the direction of the empty chair across. Her lips purse as she surrenders to the realization he isn’t going to show…again.

“One more round, Gladys?”

It’s why she comes here. They know she’s not done, but are polite enough to ask as though she might be.

“Absolutely, Damien. Just one more.”

“Food today?”

“I’ve decided I won’t be here long.”

He gives the empty seat the same look she had, nods and heads to the bar.

Gladys. She’s never loved her name. Never understood how someone could look into a tiny newborn’s face and choose Gladys, but still, she prefers it to Ms. Harris. She’d been tempted many times over the years to return to her maiden name, but couldn’t bear to be separated from Helena, even if only by title.

She adjusts her blouse and crosses her legs.

Helena.

They certainly did not need to add different surnames to the long list of things they didn’t have in common. Besides, it would seem their name is all that held them together at times and Gladys never took that for granted.

She picks up her phone. No messages. She’s not surprised. He’s never had any respect.

Tempted to text her daughter, she puts the phone in her bag. The last thing Helena had said to her before entering the school this morning was; ‘I’m fine. Stay out of it.”

And, she’d tried. All these years she had tried to stay out of it, but had never quite managed. Had never had a choice. He’d made sure of that.

Damien returns with a whiskey on the rocks. Her second. And her last for today. Despite being unwanted, she’d be there waiting for Helena to emerge once the school day was done.

Eyeing up the shot, she waits for the ice to weaken the sting.

ice cubes 3

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If you’d like to read Gladys, which could be considered part two of Helena, click here after reading below:

– – –

It’s a small smile, but enough to show me that her two front teeth overlap. She stands a distance from her mother’s side, trying desperately not to look at either of us.

“I’m sure Helena will be welcomed with open arms, Ms. Harris. In fact, I’ll see to it that she is.”

I smile warmly, but the girl blushes from head to toe and moves farther away. She absently pulls her hair, strand by stand, dropping each one to the floor as it comes out at the root and it’s suddenly clear why there are sparse patches scattered across her scalp.

“Helena, stop.” Her mother’s whisper is sharp. “Remember what I said.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but the girl turns a deeper shade of red and I can’t help but wonder if she’ll be alright here.

“Nothing to worry about.” I reassure her. “You’ll be fine.”

Ms. Harris’ lips tighten. She turns to Helena and brushes roughly at her blazer, pulls on her tie.

“Well Helena, I’m off. And for heaven’s sake, keep your hands out of your hair.” With that she walks away, leaving the girl gaping after her. No hug. Not so much as a good-bye.

“You’ve got lovely hair.” I tell her as we head into my office. I walk to the chair behind my desk. “It’s so straight.” I reach up to my own curly mop and laugh.

She stands until I ask her to sit.

“We’ll head to your class when you’re ready.” I offer when I notice her eyeing the door.

“I’m ready.”

“Really? Because we can sit here for a while. Talk. There’s no rush.”

She pulls at her hair, adjusts her glasses and stands.

“No, I’d like to go now if that’s okay.”

The walk to Mr. Roy’s room is quiet, no one in the halls, just the sound of Helena’s loose laces slapping the floor.

“Your mother didn’t tell me much, I’m afraid.”

“I’m sorry about her. She’s like that.”

“Have you signed up for any of our teams? Or enrolled in the book club?”

“I suck at sports and book club is social suicide for someone like me. I don’t need any help being unpopular.” Her tone is well beyond her years.

We reach Mr. Roy’s door and Helena finally looks at me.

“I’m okay on my own.”

Several bracelets slide out from under her jacket sleeve and circle her thin wrist as she reaches for the doorknob.

“Helena…”

“Absolutely no jewelry allowed. Yeah, I know. I read the rules before I got here.”

“Yes, you’re right, but what I was going to say is, you know where my office is if you need anything.”

She enters the classroom and from the hall I hear her say; “What are you lookin’ at? Never seen a baldy, four-eyed, new girl before?”

I think of Ms. Harris and how Helena had stood so far away from her. How her mother had been so rough, how she hadn’t said good-bye. I think of her tight lips and her stern whisper and I know now, Helena has always been okay on her own.

bracelets

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“Fifteen hundred calories? Oh, I can’t do that.”

“Huh?” I murmur barely looking up from my menu.

I drove my daughter, Ava, down to the States a couple of weekends ago to visit family friends. As previously mentioned, Ava had just turned thirteen and one of her wishes was to head down to Everett to visit close friends that moved down there a couple of years ago.

Our family is lucky enough to live just a ten-minute drive to the US border and are able to cross frequently to get cheap gas and the odd, umm, bottle of wine. We can be there and back within 20 minutes, give or take.

Thankfully, Everett is also a short drive. What’s two hours between friends?

Being that this visit, or anytime we get to visit them, is cause for celebration, we headed out for some afternoon delight. In this case, that refers to shops, eats and admittedly, drinks.

So there we sat, at a glazed wooden table inside The Cheesecake Factory, where we were promptly handed a library. A library? (I sense confusion from behind my lit screen) Yes, maybe not a literal library, but it was definitely a full array of reading material, sporting page upon page of, what proved to be, very valuable information.

My friend and I have both been on somewhat of a health kick since the start of the New Year. No resolutions mind you, just a few minor cutbacks and cutouts.

On that note, we were both thinking greens, of course.

My nose buried in the menu, I was perusing the oodles of scrumptious components that miraculously constituted a salad when I heard her repeat,

“I can’t do fifteen hundred calories for one meal…one item. I just can’t.”

“I thought we were talking salad, crazy girl. I’m having the…”

“That is a salad. Fifteen hundred calories for one salad.”

I tut. “Well, I’m going to have the Asian. It sounds nice and light.” I don’t even ask her what kind of crazy ‘salad’ she’s considering.

“Oh my God, the Asian is eighteen hundred!” She proceeds to release that guttural cackle I miss out on having to communicate with her mainly over text and email now.

I grab her menu, even though it’s the same as mine and squint even though I’m wearing my glasses.

“Good Lord, you are right. It does say that. Is that even legal?”

Luckily we eventually found, amongst the documentation laid out in front of us, a menu entitled – Skinnylicious.

It included listings of the regular menu items, complete with alterations, and grouped into uncluttered calorie categories such as: Salads Under 590.”

Dreamy, right?

This meant we were able to happily order our respective salads and the non-Skinnylicious item, Pineapple Upside-Down Cheesecake.

Knowledge is power, my friends. It’s also delicious.

Pineapple Upside Down Cheesecake

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Breaking glass cuts the thin walls and fighting ensues but it isn’t the shattered shards of Champagne flute that’s caused it.

They’ve been struggling since I can remember. There is no beginning or end.

It just is.

Always.

A jukebox full of themes seamlessly moving to a new genre even before the last pick comes to a quiet.

I slice red peppers, add them to the oil and onion in the pan…let them sizzle over the crescendo next door. Leaning, one elbow on the counter, I stir slowly, splashing red wine into the mix and a little extra into my glass. My mouth waters as garlic rushes the air. Even the diced Romas seem particularly fragrant tonight. I scrape them off the board and into the fusion – juice, seeds, skin and all.

The bellowing gathers into a twisted tornado of assault and injury. Another glass breaks. Something’s thrown against our shared wall. Sounds like a book. Could be a shoulder.

Once the water is on to boil and the bread in the oven, I kick off my shoes and flop. My wine is spicy, my feet sore and my mind roaming, but soon the muffled throbs of next door subside, as much as they ever do, and I laze through a magazine, alternating page flips with sips of Syrah.

I text, I flip, I wait and sip. I relax.

Just as the smell of my sauce seduces me off the couch, the doorbell rings.

“Anna! Thank you so much for inviting us. Um, we hope you like Champagne…?”

I take in her slightly smudged liner, their entwined fingers, his insane grin and their green bottle of bubbly with the shiny pink label.

I smile.

“C’mon in, guys. It’s lovely to have you.”

Duplex 3

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“Do you think your feet still smell when you’re dead?” All I can see is the top of his little head, hair glowing like raging fire under the warm lights above us.

My voice strangled, I half scold him; “What a thing to ask, Sam. Now is not the time.”

I instantly regret my reaction as his blue eyes turn to watery seas and his chin, a dollop of Jello. Peter’s mother stands to the side shuddering like a blanket being shaken. It’s hard to watch. Hard to comprehend. Hard to believe. It’s all just plain hard.

Peter’s skin is powdery and I can see they’ve tried to blend blush across his cheeks and up over his ears. A little of it has reached the soft, blond hair framing his face and turned it pinkish. Carmex sits thick on top of his slack lips.

He is not in a suit, but dressed in one of his favorite blue Superman shirts, the bright yellow “KA-POW!” on the front, making quite an impact on the guests. His hands are folded across his tummy, the left one, sporting a fat, wobbly, Superman style “S” had been placed on top of his right. I’d heard his mother had specifically asked them not to remove the black ink.

I grab Sam’s hand and although I’m trying not to let him see me cry, a tear darkens the red carpet as I look down to lift his chin.

“I don’t want to go any closer.” He says. “He wouldn’t want me to.”

I kneel down so we’re face to face. “You’ll regret not saying a proper good-bye, son. C’mon. I’ll be right beside you.”

He looks down again and this time, his tears make the carpet change color.

“But I already made his mom so sad. If she sees me…” His voice trails into silence but his tears get louder.

“No Sam, it’s not like that. Best friends fight. C’mon. Trust me. It’ll be alright.”

And even though I’m doing my best to sound reassuring, I am shaking inside. I have no idea how Pauline will react to us and the last thing I want is to cause more upset.

I steer him towards the coffin, but at the last minute he leaves me. I watch as he heads over to Pauline and tugs on the back of her flowered dress. She turns slowly and immediately drops to her knees.

I rush over to help her but she grabs on to Sam. Hugs him so tight I think he’ll pop open right there.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Kerry. I didn’t meant to…” He chokes.

“Oh Sammy. Peter loved you so much. I’m so sorry you had to see what you did and I’m…” she takes a breath, “I’m so very sorry he’s gone.”

Pauline held Sam for a smidge longer, patted his eyes with her hanky and then her own and told him to go say his good-bye.

Sam and I had spent many hours since Peter’s death, discussing why it wasn’t his fault. How kids tease each other and tricking Peter into letting him draw that “S” on his hand was just a joke among friends. I’d often heard Sam tease Peter about his smelly feet and told him many times to stop even though I could tell it was all in good fun. But when Sam had drawn the “S” and then teased Peter that it stood for stinky, Sam could never have known what would happen next.

Peter had chased him out into the street, but as Sam made it to the other side, he’d turned to see his best friend being dragged along the pavement by a silver Chevy pick-up truck.

This time, as we approach the coffin, he stays on course, a determined look in his eye. We stand a moment and I stroke his hair and rub his back. I do all the things mommies do in an attempt to make-believe things better.

Having held it in for so long, I lose my battle as I watch Sammy take a black marker out of his pocket and carefully write “uperman” on Peter’s right hand.

Kapow 1

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in·spire ( n-sp r )
v. in·spired, in·spir·ing, in·spires
v.tr.
1. To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence.
2. To fill with enlivening or exalting emotion:
3.a. To stimulate to action; motivate
b. To affect or touch:
4. To draw forth; elicit or arouse
5. To be the cause or source of; bring about
6. To draw in (air) by inhaling.
7. Archaic
a. To breathe on.
b. To breathe life into.
v.intr.
1. To stimulate energies, ideals, or reverence
2. To inhale.

A wrecking ball smashes into a building

What makes you tick? What twerks your Miley? Or should that be…Miley’s your twerk…okay, moving on. I promise.

I’m not asking where you get your stories from or your general writing ideas. I’m talking about what spurs you on to actually do it? And not just writing, but whatever your passion pushes you to pursue.

I like writing and whether I’m good at it or, more often than not, bite the big one, I obviously feel compelled to continue. Why is that? I mean, I could just read. There are plenty of novels in which to bury my brain and countless instructionals to whet my wits. I already have a job in make-up artistry and when I’m not doing that, I’m plenty busy in the homemaker department. I don’t actually have to write. In fact, I need to steal time to make that happen and honestly, it can be quite stressful. Did I really just say that?

Me, I tend to be inspired by understanding and authenticity, kindness and sincerity, compassion and positivity. Promoting what’s loved rather than bashing what’s not.

I’m also encouraged by support and recognition. Yes, I do it for me and would continue to do so even if no one ever took notice, yadda, yadda, yadda, but when it comes right down to it, I am very motivated by these two things as well. There’s no other feeling in the (writing) world quite like the appearance of a gold (really it’s orange, but in my mind it’s gold) star at the top of my blog telling me someone’s ‘liked’ my post. Or better yet, a plus sign signaling a new fan (really these are called followers, but I don’t like that word so much) and even better still, an interview published for all to see because of a writing contest I placed well in. Yup, mega motivating, albeit cheek-reddening and sort of bewildering.

** You can read my interview here! **

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I have this old adding machine and for about ten years, the battery cover has been missing. It’s because of this I feel a profound sadness every time I pull it out of the drawer. Without the support, I know it will only be a matter of time before those little coils relax and let the batteries fall to the floor. But it would hurt me to replace a perfectly good thing due simply to the fact that it’s missing a piece. After all, it still works fairly faultlessly and if anyone appreciates a bit of help, it’s me. I can’t add worth a damn. I still count out on my fingers and have to write anything more than a three-digit sum down on paper before the numbers climb, trip and topple over one another in my head.

I used to waitress and kept a tiny calculator tucked into my billfold, never wanting anyone to happen upon me using it. Fellow servers let bills flail from their pockets or flap from their cleavage and somehow still managed to finish their close-outs ahead of me and my anally-organized stash of cash.

I once worked in retail and eventually learned to make my fingers fly over the chunky buttons without even looking. It gave me a sense of power, being able to ‘rule’ math that way. The bookwork to be done was very formulated and not much could go wrong. The numbers either balanced or they didn’t and if it turned out they wouldn’t, the mistake was usually very easy to find. It got so that I could do the hour-long nightly paperwork in twenty minutes – fifteen if I had somewhere exciting to be in a hurry.

Much to my dismay, today math lingers in my life and the only time I can call it rewarding is when I’m gauging the tip for a sneaky lunch at the pub. Things like balancing checkbooks, crunching numbers, logging endless expenses and estimating interests do not bring me joy. What. So. Ever.

I was cleaning out my junk drawer…zzz – Oh hush. Yes, I have more than one – near the end of 2013 and you can probably guess what I found. That’s right. Lo and behold, there, on the drawer’s gritty bottom, lay the battery cover for my old adding machine. I have to say my heart skipped a beat.

Never give up on something disjointed or incomplete. You never know when you’ll come across what you’ve been searching for. And sometimes, that little piece is all it takes.

adding-machine-1

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I’m not off to a great start. I went away for a week and didn’t bring my laptop charger. But have no fear. I credit that more to my precarious short-term memory than to my resolve to write. A person who toasts an English muffin, thinks about grabbing a plate and half a second later proceeds to hand it, dripping with jam, to her husband plateless really cannot be expected to remember a power cord.

When I was ten, our class planned a big field trip. We were abuzz with what would be in our picnic lunches and whether or not we’d get away without wearing a jacket. If you were cool, you were jacket-free at all times. We’d bring our bikes and ride them onto the Barnston Ferry which would have us on Barnston Island after a chatter-filled, five-minute ride.

The sun was gleaming, my windbreaker was bottle green, (I was never a cool kid) my bike was burgundy, my best friend’s sparkly pink polish was chipped and my sandwich was peanut butter and banana. We lay on our bellies in the tall grass and let the blonde blades wave lazily over our eye-lines. The girls giggled about the boys and the boys chortled about the bugs and we cycled the 6-mile radius a few times over, with zero signs of exertion, pretending we were Lone Rangers or Charlie’s Angels.

Now, what was the point of this post…?

The biggest lie I tell myself

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This is a post I wrote in January of last year. I’d forgotten about it until someone recently repinned it on Pinterest. I decided to give it a bit of a tweak and repost because it’s one of the few things I’ve reread of mine and actually sort of liked and I’m really, really, no stupid busy right now and this is better than not posting at all. I hope you like it too.

Once upon a time…

Today I set out to write a meaningful, poignant tale, light enough to laugh and bruised enough to ache, but I got distracted by the shiny, sparkly WorldWideWeb shouting; “Squirrel!”

With a click of its heels, I was whisked away to a world where there can be, at times, a little too much information. Perhaps you’ve been there…

It’s a land where lies hold truths and certainties can be deceptions, genuine appears false and fake sports authentic. There’s shelves lined with jars of endless hope and stacks of dusty, old boxes containing eternal damnation. And it’s right at our fingertips for mere breadcrumbs and while tasting sweet, it can be ceaselessly damaging.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have letters following my name or awards in my bio, I don’t have any notable education in writing and I don’t work in a profession relating to my passion and what I dream will eventually become my career.

It’s dizzyingly easy to fall down the hole and find darkness in place of dreams and tempting to give up and let the bad wolf blow our houses down and yes, sometimes irresistible to believe the sky is falling, but the good new is we have a choice.

Finding the girl that fits the glass slipper or coming back from eating that poisoned apple is not easy, but no one ever said it would be. Nothing magical worthwhile ever is.

It does help though, when we know our unfolding fairy tale is being heard by whoever should nestle in to read the never-ending story.

Poisoned Apple

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