Comments for hazyshadesofme

Comment on Good Enough by TooFullToWrite

TooFullToWrite — Sat, 25 May 2013 21:18:41 +0000

I like this – it really baked my noodle! A very good piece of flash, in terms of how you described the scene and the disappointment, excellent. Also, in terms of greatness, my favourite quite of recent is from Sir Francis Drake – “Sic Parvis Magna – Greatness from small beginnings.” We all start off small, we just have to nurture our talents and let them grow for the world.

Comment on Learning by TooFullToWrite

TooFullToWrite — Sat, 25 May 2013 21:13:45 +0000

Well done you! To have the courage to put forward your writing in that way is marvellous. Critiques are so useful, in terms of helping you to see if things could have been improved upon. Don’t be discouraged if you lose competitions though, as don’t forget that most of the time there can be only one/few winners – with the best story in the world, you still might not be able to beat other ones that are also highly crafted and polished. Set sail again for The Spanish Main with your writing soon and I’m sure you’ll be successful!

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by Hazy Shades of Me

Hazy Shades of Me — Sat, 25 May 2013 00:40:29 +0000

Thanks Adam!

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by adam

adam — Fri, 24 May 2013 23:53:36 +0000

I like the first better, mostly because of the line: “The kettle was taking forever.” I like that much better than “But the kettle takes too long.” The first sounds more like how people talk. If I say the second outloud, it just doesn’t sound right to my ear.

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by Hazy Shades of Me

Hazy Shades of Me — Fri, 24 May 2013 16:03:07 +0000

Thanks, PC. A IS ‘snappier’. I’d like to meet somewhere in the middle with it. I appreciate your comment!

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by Hazy Shades of Me

Hazy Shades of Me — Fri, 24 May 2013 16:01:30 +0000

Thank you for the feedback, Lashell. I appreciate your description of what you felt when reading. :0)

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by Hazy Shades of Me

Hazy Shades of Me — Fri, 24 May 2013 16:00:12 +0000

Thank you, denmother!

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by Hazy Shades of Me

Hazy Shades of Me — Fri, 24 May 2013 15:59:31 +0000

Thanks, Tony.

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by P. C. Zick

P. C. Zick — Wed, 22 May 2013 18:43:43 +0000

I’m going with A. It seems more active with stronger verbs. It has a dreamy quality to it.

Comment on Calling All Writers/Readers by lashellcollins

lashellcollins — Wed, 22 May 2013 05:44:09 +0000

I also think A read much more smoothly than B. And I “felt” more with A – the tension of the wait, the anticipation. The disappointment when the jello didn’t set up.